Troubles with the Rock People

I made these rock people to keep me company in the yard. They weren't too talkative at first but great listeners. They were great to have around. Then the troubles started. The igneous rock people think the the sedimentary rock people are lazy and shiftless and the metamorphic rock people are very vocal about being superior to everyone else. It led to problems but I was always there to keep the peace. I was called away to play with the testing of a new kind of projectile that mankind uses to settle petty disputes. It was interesting work and I even got a souvenir to bring home. While I was gone the problems between the Rock People escalated. The green eyed rock people pray to a different god then the silver eyed rock people and the red eyed rock people pray to a volcano god and practice ritual sacrifice by throwing unbelievers into volcanoes. After I got back I called a summit meeting and we all sat around drinking Sangria wine and singing Kumbaya till all was well in my little corner of the world. The peace didn't last and then someone stole my souvenir. A roadside bombing occurred 30 yards SW of pond this week with four confirmed fatalities and an unknown number taken to quarry by ambulance.